


Comfort

by GreyPezzola



Series: A Study in Synonyms [7]
Category: Dragon Age (Video Games), Dragon Age: Origins
Genre: Emotional Hurt/Comfort, F/M, Hurt/Comfort, Panic Attacks
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-04-05
Updated: 2017-04-05
Packaged: 2018-10-14 04:21:16
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,114
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/10528842
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/GreyPezzola/pseuds/GreyPezzola
Summary: Sigyn taps his wrist once. It snaps him into the moment. Her expression is stern, her mouth in the thin line she only got when she was actively holding her tongue. She shakes her head once. Alistair returns to the conversation as she tangles her fingers with his. Four calluses fingers threading through his five and then a gentle squeeze. Goldanna is still spewing vitriol. She doesn't want him. She doesn't want a brother.





	

"And what good did that do for me, princeling? While you grew up in a palace I was here working, struggling!" She's yelling at him. Alistair had imagined this moment more than a thousand times and in none of them did this happen. He had come unannounced, maybe she was having an off day, maybe—

He's stuttering a response. He isn't entirely sure what he is saying, but it does nothing to soothe this woman, his sister, Maker this wasn't going at all like he had—

Sigyn taps his wrist once; it snaps him into the moment. Her expression is stern, her mouth in the thin line she only got when she was actively holding her tongue. She shakes her head once. Alistair returns to the conversation as she tangles her fingers with his. Four calluses fingers threading through his five and then a gentle squeeze. Goldanna is still spewing vitriol. She doesn't want him. She doesn't want a brother.

"Alistair, let's go." Sigyn is pulling him and he's following. Goldanna yells something, Sigyn's grip tightens, but she merely pushes open the door and leads them both outside.

He knows somewhere in the back of his mind that he is shaking. "Alistair, stay with me." It's Sigyn's business voice, firm and unable to be argued with. He's right here, though, with her; his mind buzzes.

Was this— is this?

"Alistair, what did we eat for breakfast?" Sigyn is pulling him along towards some unknown destination. Where—? "What did we eat for breakfast, tell me."

He fishes for the answer, the memory seeming a lifetime away. They were staying at an inn, shared a bed, and then "Porridge with dried fruit and nuts. You found the texture weird."

"Good." Her voice is still firm, but she doesn't seem angry. "And what else?"

"Tea, Leliana let you try some of hers, Sigyn what?" She stops pulling him and he is numbly surprised to find themselves in a sheltered alleyway that seems to be largely ignored by the rest of the world. She's flushed and breathing heavily, she had just dragged him away from—

Oh.

Alistair's back hit the wall and he slides down it. "I feel so foolish. To think that maybe she would— and I?"

Sigyn taps his shoulder and he shakes his head. She withdraws. "Alistair?" She asks softly.

"This is the family I've been wondering about all my life?" He rambles, running a hand through his hair and tugging on it slightly. The feeling helps ground him.

"I'm sorry Alistair, I don't know what to say," Sigyn says. She looks utterly worried, brow knit with concern.

He flexes his hands and looks up at her. "Why did I think that she would accept me? That— that she would want me?" He opens the fist he made and wiggles his fingers. "And I gave her gold?"

Sigyn sits down in front of him, crossing her legs so she can fold her hands in her lap. Four fingers on the left, five on the right. "People are out for themselves, but—"

"So what? I should be hard? Put up walls like you?" He regrets the words as soon as they leave his mouth.

"Alistair, no never. That's not what I meant— just— I'm plenty hard for the two of us. Just because people tend to be out for themselves doesn't mean it's good." Sigyn is looking at her hands, a finger running over the large scar where her missing finger once was. "But Stone Alistair, you care. Yes, you gave her gold, but that's so you. I've never met anyone like you. You're like—"

Her voice catches and he finds himself able to hear the soft hubbub of the street at the end of the alley. He leans forward and puts a hand on her knee. "Sigyn?"

"You're like the sky, like the sun. I was so scared of falling into you and I've never regretted taking those first few, terrifying steps into your warmth. Into you. I have never met someone who saw something more than the cunning duster and made me actually believe it. You've torn down so many of my walls and helped me understand I don't need to build more, please don't start building your own." She lifts her head to look at him. "I can't say exactly how a sister should act as I've been a pretty bad one recently, but I can say people care about you. I care. About you."

All he can see is her, but unlike before where he had only hollowly seen her as his sister's words had rung in his head, this time he can she how she is leaning towards him, wanting to touch and soothe, but respecting his want for space, how she is also shaking, her hands tremor ever so slightly, how her eyes are watering, and how utterly determined and worried she is.

"Sigyn, I— I'm sorry. I just— she— a demon was nicer than my own sister." He squeezes her knee and she slowly places her hand on his. "I guess I just wanted something more, but you are right. People care about me." Their fingers lace together and he leans forwards. The kiss is lingering, slow, and he keeps his eyes closed after the pull apart.

"Alistair?" She asks softly and he cracks open one eye and then the other. Sigyn's looking at him, eyes soft and searching. When he smiles, she lets out a reverent sigh and then reaches out with her other hand to rest a hand on his cheek. "Stone, you are beautiful."

He turns his head so he can press a kiss into her palm. "Thank you."

"For what?" She asks.

"For everything. For getting me out and getting me somewhere private before I—" he kisses the inside of her wrist and she shivers and blushes. He clears his throat, "Come on, I think I can face the world and I'm starving."

A small smile hits the corner of her mouth and he decides to kiss it. Just as he thought, the smile spreads when he does and she chuckles against his lips. When they pull apart, he tucks a strand of her hair behind her ear. "I care. About you too." He says awkwardly, knowing that caring is an absolute understatement of how he feels.

Sigyn closes her eyes and her smile becomes more private. "I know." She squeezes his hand, opens her eyes, and stands up. She lightly tugs him to his feet and he stands up as well. "What do you feel like eating?" She asks as they make their way to city streets, her four fingers laced between his five.

**Author's Note:**

> I think Alistair is probably dealing with PTSD, but like I don't think they have the language around that in Thedas. However, this is just a standard panic attack and fairly unrelated to PTSD. But I mostly wrote this because I wanted to show like 3 things:
> 
> 1\. A time where touch wasn't wanted in terms of the tap-touch system they have  
> 2\. A version of a panic attack. Everyone's are slightly different, so this is just one way a panic attack can manifest.  
> 3\. I really like the notion that both of them knew that they were in love but Sigyn isn't so great with words and Alistair isn't sure if he's able to say it.
> 
> I know that Goldanna didn't really yell in the game, but for me, it really came across as such.
> 
> Also, this is (in terms of Caboodle's timeline) after they share a bed for the first time and before they, well, caboodle. While this hasn't been brought up before, Sigyn did lose a finger at one point. I am in the process of writing the fic that goes further into that like right now. It's just going to take a while because of school, graduation, and becoming a real adult soon.


End file.
